Film: Kodak Tri-X 400

At times I like to think that I know a little of what I am talking about. I have a good sense of people and why they do the things they do. Being completely self aware (not that it helps me) makes people constantly want to open up to me, which I love. What does this have to do with film you might ask? Well I always thought that photography was beautiful in it's primitive (for lack of a better word) form. Black and White film always feels like it captures something on a different plain than what color film can do. As if in shooting people in black and white you can almost see feel more of a connection. I have been using Kodak Tri-x 400 for a while now. To be honest I never was really happy with the results . I feel like it flattens a lot of my images. I think I am going to start using more Ilford since they are the kings of Black and White. Never the less here are some pics taken with Kodak Tri-x 400



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Gloomy as heck!

I am currently at work listening to Built To Spill - Carry the Zero and trying to not fall asleep. Can I just tell you how awesome Dinosaur Jr. radio is on Pandora!!! All these great songs are coming on everything from Lemonheads to Smashing Pumpkins. Oh Smashing Pumpkins , they are but a bump in the history of my generation but I somehow can look back and find at least 3 songs of theirs that are milestones in my life. Weird how seemingly a band could not affect you but still somehow have a relationship with you in your life.

"Today" happens to be one of my favorite songs EVER!!! The lyrics and the melody even the music video seems to be etched permanently in my brain. Billy Corgan's bald head reminds me of a time in my life where music made sense to me and at the time the rest of the world. Now when I think about him though I think about all his problems with Courtney Love.

I will end this with the music video for one of my favorite Smashing Pumpkins songs

Camera Rant: Why I love my Diana Mini!

This little piece of plastic might look like it can't do much but really it packs such a punch.
If you are familiar with it's predecessor the Diana F+ you know that the magic to these cameras is in the plastic lens. Luckily with the Diana Mini you are not sacrificing too much in the size.
The Mini keeps the plastic lens to still give you those soft focus images and eventhough it shoots in 35mm format ( a feature I find to be a million times more convenient) it still gives you the square image that the Diana is famous for. Since the Mini cannot be made into a pinhole, the lens doesn't come off like the regular Diana, it does give you the option of shooting half frame. So on a 36 exposure roll you can shoot 72 pictures, and you don't have to stay committed to half frame through out your whole roll you can actually go back and forth. This is my favorite feature since for years I had been trying to get my hands on an Olympus Pen an older camera that had that feature back in the day. Then I found the golden half a camera made by superheadz that seemed to do what the Pen did but lacked in the picture quality.The Mini does everything the golden half does and more. I also must rave about the panoramic options you have with it, it's really what I have been experimenting with and so far so good. I must end this by talking about the focusing. I have never been good at judging focusing on meters but I feel that with the Diana Mini it's a little more forgiving. I tend to always get a good shot.

Here are some shots I have taken so far with the Mini

It was a nice break

... and now back to the real world.

Utah, I had been there twice before and both times I loved it. This time it was a little different. I was surrounded with friends, I had a lot more money and it was fucking snowing. After a fourteen hour drive and a four hour pit stop in Vegas we finally made it. Downtown SLC is very interesting, it's a city and yet not. I remember walking down the streets of temple square when there were no sky scrapper buildings but now it's like stepping into a different state within a one mile radius.

The cold is what really caught me off guard being babied by California weather anything below fifteen degrees is always a shock. I spent most of Thursday night and Friday searching for a Walgreens. I google mapped the fuck out of that Walgreens and it seemed that anywhere I turned I was going the wrong way. Big tip to any major city DO NOT HAVE MULTIPLE STREETS NAMED ALMOST THE SAME!!! I get that 400 s. and 400 w. are two different streets but when I'm walking and lost I can't remember which way is which at that point. Shadi and I went on a 45 minute walk to the mecca that was Walgreens and then found out we could of taken the train there (awesome). You know your life isn't really that interesting when you spend most of your day in a different state looking for a place to buy bobby pins.

The best part was when I was stuck in the hotel elevator for 20 minutes with the most obnoxious guy. He didn't mind being stuck in there because in his words "he had nothing to do".

I would have punched him if they didn't come rescue us. RETARDED...

We spent our last day there going to Sundance to see what the hoopla was about. Unfortunately we didn't get to see much hoopla since we had no tickets to any movies and it was nearing the end of the festival. Regardless Park City is a very beautiful place to visit. I just kept thinking that this was the backdrop for all those hallmark christmas cards. Snow everywhere which always makes me happy since we don't get a lick of snow in Downey,California.

I would normally talk about the show here but there was really nothing to say besides the fact that it was pretty awesome. I don't normally judge Brand New shows mainly because it's rare for me to not enjoy one. Obviously I enjoy some more than others but I can only think of one bad show in the seventy or so that I have been to. So therefore the show was good and definitely worth sitting in the car for 14 more hours on our way home.

So verdict about Utah : will visit again yet not anytime soon.....

Years end...

It seems that the year came as fast as it went. I don't even remember how the year started and not that it was bad but I am glad it's over. There is a lot I want to get to so hopefully new year new beginnings.

Yesterday Shadi and I went to the Observatory. We both hadn't been there since we were younger. It's amazing how many great places there are in LA that we take for granted. The view from the top was amazing and I got to capture some awesome shots with my Polaroid Land Camera. After the Observatory we picked up Luis and headed to The Grove, our usual lunch spot The Cheesecake Factory kept us full!!! Then we watched "Up in the Air". I personally loved the movie it was everything that I expected. Such an insightful look at someone who has build their life being a hermit. I loved the ending, I hate when movies end "happily ever after" just for the sake of leaving you happy at the end.






I got my pictures back from NY these are some of my favorites.. all taken with Lomography 800 speed film.

New York...forever and always..

I spent a glorious week having my usual visit to New York during the holidays. Living in California we lose out on the novelty of Christmas. It is almost always 76 and sunny here (excluding last week of course.) Sometimes I just need to see everything decked out in lights, or just the need to feel the cold on my face. The cold I felt, EXTREMELY! I spent most of my time though with Diego in his apartment just watching youtube videos. (we know how to party)

I love Brooklyn and forget that the city isn't always the be all of everything. The culture and some of the sights that you see in Brooklyn could be easily as stunning as anything in the city.

I do go to New York a lot so when I arrive I like to hit up my favorite spots one of them being Grand Morelos , which I affectionately call "dirty mexican food". They are notorious for cheap mexican food at odd hours of the night and somehow they love to give you your check about two hours after you are done with your food. We hit it up on a Friday night and didn't end up leaving till 5:30 am.

It was awesome to see Diego and Rusha!!! It was sad though because there were soo many peopl I didn't get to see :( It's okay I should be back soon. It feels nice to have such good friends so far away and still be completely close to them. Speaking of great friends that are far away Jenn was in town from San Francisco! She was researching schools and it was GLORIOUS for us to reunite in New York. We hit up this awkward karaoke bar on her last night. The bar was filled with men in suits and after Eric went to have a smoke he informed us that a review outside said "an interesting mix of bankers and hipsters" they were on the dot about that one.

Highlight of the trip was getting to see the Who shot rock n roll exhibit at the brooklyn museum of art. I still get chills thinking about it. Next trip is at the end of January and trust me I cannot wait till Utah.

pictures by Michelle and Jenn

I want short hair back...

Could you believe this was me???
I am slowly starting to feel like the person I used to be. When I was younger I thought I could do anything and no one could stop me. Maybe being idealistic like this was the key to my happiness. Ignorance is bliss like they all say. I used to wear my hair this short because it made me feel powerful. It started as an accident really, I bleached my hair about 3 times and when that was done my hair felt like hay. All I could do was cut off all my hair and hope to God that it would grow out fast. I remember being in the salon chair scared for my life with tears rolling down my face after each snip. Pathetic? I know, but for a girl hiding behind your hair is almost like your strength. It isn't just a greek myth it's how we feel. As soon as the hair went though I actually felt different. I had nothing to hide behind it was almost like I was really showing myself to the world. Years after the first cut I would revisit this haircut every time I wanted to "shed my skin". A boy would hurt me, the hair left. New job, new challenge in my life the hair left. You get the picture. I have since let my hair grow, it is now way passed my shoulders. I still get the urge to cut my hair every once and awhile but I have to tell myself that things are different now. Who knows maybe one day I'll be that person again.

It's been a while hasn't it.

Since the last time I posted I have done A LOT!!! I've also had about a gazillion meltdowns to cover. It's amazing that this year is almost over and to think of it I think it's the year I learned the most. I lost one of my favorite people in the world to cancer and lived through it. I still can't believe she is gone. I went from constantly complaining about my position in life to owning everything and now almost being okay with it. I am inspired by the person I used to be and re-connecting with that person is what has changed my outlook. I'm planning so much for this new year and am just excited to get the ball rolling.

Enough about that now on to other things. The past few weeks I have found myself in more social situations that I could shake a stick at. I love my friends but if you know me I am not exactly the social butterfly. A couple of weeks ago my co-workers coerced me into staying in LA for the night so they could show me around, what ended up happening was that 2 pitchers of pbr, a dozen or so beers, one jack and coke later I couldn't remember where I was...eeekkk.


this is Kyle he normally is a nice guy from Conneticut but that night he was pretty much an evil killer.


Marshall being a creepster..

Daniel and his friend decided to get a way past midnight snack. About five minutes later Daniel ran upstairs to show us his room where he then decided to pass out.

Marshall being himself, no seriously!

This is Marshall's pet snake. Snakes are a lot cuter than we give them credit for.

I'm really looking into neighborhoods in LA to move to. I don't like LA but in all honesty I can't hold out any longer in moving out and it's either LA or Orange County and since I work in LA I think one is a no brainer. Neighborhoods like Echo Park and Los Feliz are really calling out to me right now. To be honest I just want a place to hang pictures on the wall and bake cookies the rest really doesn't matter.

You try to let people in ...You really do..
and then they hurt you ..and ruin it for the rest of them..
So then you try again...You retreat back to locking doors and putting up walls.. and then you meet "him" the most amazing person. The guy who tells you that you look nice for no reason..who constantly wants to hang out ...who makes you laugh and always tells you that you do the same to him, and this guy seems like he's knocking yet you wont let him in...hey dipshits you ruined it for me......i'm slowly decaying by myself and now i've locked myself in this cage too scared to
let the right one in..

FUCK !

my favorite things..

Lately I've been lugging around a few things in this oversized denim bag..
It is one of my favorite things I have purchased in awhile. ...The bag is from D collection and looks like a denim gym bag but somehow it has become my everyday bag that carries my whole life...These are a few of my favorite things found in my bag.



Harajuku Lovers fragrance - Music.
To be honest the only reason I purchased this was because of the cute little doll on the bottle. But besides being adorable it also smells soo good. I love floral smells and this one hits the spot, plus it's small so I can take it with me everywhere.


Lollia handcream.
I was never into hand creams or lotions of any kind but this one smells so lovely and makes your hands feel silky smooth. It is also super cheap for 8 dollars for a small tube you can just throw it in your purse and forget about it.

Sephora lipgloss - red velvet
I love lipgloss it's probably the only make-up I find a necessity. This color is an awesome shade of red without overpowering your lips.

C.0. Bigalow - My favorite lip balm.
The name says it all! I wish that I could wear this all the time and forget about any sort of makeup. So light, it makes my lips so soft I am in love.

Baby Holga
So small I could take it anywhere and yet still allows me to take pictures with holga quality.