Your just jealous cuz we're young and in love....

 

I have been spending a lot of time with my family lately, just hanging out with my little sisters.  When you are that young hanging out literally means doing nothing. Spending hours in a singular location enjoying the time that is passing by. Do you remember the feeling of not feeling rushed? Of not thinking of all the things you had to do in the next couple of hours?  I love being around the unfiltered that feel like the world is in the palm of their hands. I once used to feel invincible but now I second guess every move I make even when I am walking down the street.

Why do you think we lose that? I know a big chunk of that is dream vs reality. We can only live so much in our head, after awhile I am sure we would go crazy. I have given much thought lately as to why I don't feel things are possible. When you are younger you say to yourself "I am going to travel the world" then you get older an realize you have to have a job to do this. Money is and forever will be the biggest buzzkill. I know that we are suppose to think a certain way when we are older. Stable job, stable house, stable family life...but what if that is not what you want. I think from now on I am going to ask my 10 year old sister what she would do and go from there.....

 Do you remember the age of young love? When you still got butterflies and all you really wanted to do is hold someone's hand? My teenage sister is experiencing young love for the first time. Her best friend is exactly who she wants to be around all the time. I look at them and think "Could they have found something so young?" Teenagers now a days know too much... they know things don't last. I don't know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.....

Note to self: Act like a kid every once in awhile, there has to be a secret to their laughter.

tapes and tapes

I know that being retro is all the rage nowadays, this coming from a person who only uses film cameras and even worse still uses a small tape player to listen to music BUT trust me this is an involuntary reflex. Somewhere along the lines I just fell into the way of thinking, "if it's not broke don't fix it". I wouldn't say that I am afraid of technology but I would say that I wish we could just slow down and enjoy things for awhile. Every few months it seems like we keep improving on things that in my opinion don't need much improving in the first place. There is always something bigger and better coming along in the next few months making society never feel like they are satisfied. I hate that feeling! So I personally have chosen to slow down.

Like I mentioned above I use a small tape player as my primary music player. This happened all by accident when I saw one for under 3 dollars at a thrift store. It was just sitting there and I thought " Hey why not?" I then noticed how affordable tapes are selling, sometimes for as low as a quarter. I love going to Amoeba because they always have some great selections. These are my latest finds....

 

The funny thing is The Cranberries "No Need To Argue" tape was the first tape I ever purchased and here I was almost 16 years later purchasing it again.  

This right here is my gem, a Dinosaur Jr album on tape with no artwork. Comes right in time as the news of the Bug re-issue on tape , coming full circle maybe?

My first time with the LC-Wide

 

This is my first roll through the LC-Wide and to be honest I wish I would have gone closer! The LC-W is the new camera by Lomography that takes the LC-A+ to a whole new level allowing you to take not online wide angle shots but also half and square frame pictures! I say it is something along the lines of if the Diana Mini and the LC-A+ had a baby. To be quite honest when I found out this was happening I was not too excited about it, I like the LC-A and it already had the ability to add a wide angle lens so how much better could it be. I don't really care for the novelty of half frame photography and if I wanted square images I could just shoot medium format! But just  one look at the pictures and I knew that I was wrong. I could go over the technical specifications of this camera like it's 17mm lens and what not but I think just looking at the pictures you can see how great it is. The best part for me is that it only has two focus functions 0.4 -0.9 m or 0.9 - infinity ! That means not only do you not have to think about exposures thanks to the infamous light meter you also don't really have to think about focusing either!! Regardless I think I need to take this baby out for a spin one more time and you know maybe actually get a good picture.

Set on half frame option without the half frame mask creates fake panoramic images

Square format

Street Photography

Yesterday I had the pleasure of teaching a new workshop at the Lomography Gallery Store LA that solely focused on street photography. A concept that I was not too familiar with but as soon as I did my research I became engulfed in the greats and master of the craft.

  My interest in street photography began when I moved to NYC for the first time (yes there was a second). I loved the idea of exploring the city and capturing it through my glass lens. I lived right around the corner from ICP and worked a few stops away from the MET so I was always occupying my time checking out photography exhibits. When I moved to NY I only had a canon rebel t1 35mm camera and a sony digital camera. This was back in 2007 when digital had finally become a household thing. I don't know why I held on the the film camera for as long as I did and now a days I can't imagine using anything but film but those were my companions while in the "big scary" city. I always remember on my days off taking the train to a random destination in hopes that when I got off I would be able to capture the essence of where I was.

photo by Henri Cartier Bresson

  I was already in the mentality of a street photographer and I didn't even know it. ICP hosted an exhibit while I still lived in the city on Henri Cartier-Bresson. I didn't know it at the time but I was seeing the photographs of someone who people call the grandfather of photojournalism. It wasn't until doing research for this workshop that I became re-acquainted with the photographs that inspired me years ago.

photo by Henri Cartier Bresson

 In addition to Bresson there are dozen or so great photographers that put their stamp on Street Photography back in the day. Doisneau, Evans, Gilden and many more to mention but all unique and similar in their own ways.

I think about how capturing people in their every day life was so important back in the day. A life before reality tv, before tabloid magazines, before leisurely traveling. This was the only way we could see the world outside of our own.  Street Photography requires a sense of confidence that I lack. You have to be able to walk up to anyone and be prepared to be let in or grossly told to fuck off. I can't handle that kind of rejection so in turn I will probably never be one of those names but I can say that dabbling in the art form is fun!

I also taught a Diana F+ workshop last week and at the tail end of it ran into WeHo Jesus. If you live in LA you have seen this man at least one time or another. He walks around LA wearing a long robe, has a beard and long hair. Resembles what we think Jesus would look like or at least what we have been told he should. I tried to sneak a picture as I saw him walk down the street ( Does anyone else hear Kanye's "Jesus Walks" when they see him passing by? ) He saw me and motioned my friend and I to come over, now I don't know about you but when someone who resembles Jesus tells you to do anything you almost feel some sort of religious obligation to comply, I blame my Catholic upbringing. I asked him if I could take his portrait and then he started asking me about Lomography, who knew Jesus knew about Lomo cameras.... It was a weird experience but I got this awesome shot out of it. I think the Diana F+ complimented this holy being really well, and don't worry I don't really think he is Jesus, or is he?

Puerto Rico !!!!

It's been a long time since I have written in here mostly due to the fact that I lack a computer! womp womp....
There is good news though, actually there really isn't any good news but we will glaze over that just so I can talk about how amazing my last trip was. I was lucky enough to spend a few days with my friends in NYC and then hop over to Puerto Rico to spend some time with my dad.

Being in Puerto Rico opened up my eyes to something I hadn't experienced in awhile, WANDERLUST! This word is defined as a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about. That is pretty much all I want to do with my life, I blame Anthony Bourdain! In all seriousness, being able to experience a completely different culture awoke something in me. While I walked down the small narrow streets of old San Juan I thought to myself this is what it is all about. Seeing new things and being around the unfamiliar challenges something inside of you to want more. We spent most of our time in Old San Juan walking around and taking in the beauty of the Atlantic. We even went into an old castle which was weird and cool all at the same time. There was this festival going on while we were there, apparently it goes on every Sunday with outdoor music and dancing. Everyone brings their own chair and they sit down or get up and dance but the main point is just relaxing and enjoying a day off. Living in the states I feel we all lose sight of what enjoying your life is suppose to feel like. We all work hard to try to get by and forget what life is suppose to be about. I guess that last statement could be interpreted many different ways for many different people but for me life is about experiencing and at the moment there is not much of that going on.

On trips I always find it hard to pack cameras, I have a few that I am partial to (Lubitel 166 I am looking at you! ) others are a toss up. I decided to take my Diana F+ on this trip since I haven't given it much of a chance in previous outings. I am so happy I did! the soft focus lens paired with slide film were the exact thing I needed to capture the beauty of Puerto Rico.

Here are a few images I was lucky enough to capture. All simple, without thought but lucky enough that the planets aligned and got me these gorgeous images.

the grunge princess

Princess movies? I'm into it! Actually anything Disney I tend to swing a bat at. I grew up thinking that at one point my Prince Charming would come or at least something resembling a prince charming. Obviously we all know that romantic comedies, Disney Films, and the Lifetime channel have seriously affected woman's expectation of relationships. I am constantly living in reality vs expectation but out of all the Disney princess films I have to say that I thoroughly enjoy "The Princess Diaries". Besides having a charming and shy lead awesomely portrayed by one of my future style icons Anne Hathaway. It has Robert Schwartzman playing the lovable friend that is in a band (Duh!). Completely a no brainer and thanks to E! playing it on heavy rotation I have gotten to enjoy this movie more than once this month.

 

Currently Living in the Past...

I am the first to admit that at one point in the last few years I just stopped acknowledging all the advancements in technology, music, and fashion. It's almost like I put on the breaks and decided to live with everything I knew prior to that moment. I always mention the Spring of 96' which is something I picked up from a Chuck Klosterman book.There he states that the offices of Spin magazine, where he used to work, always seemed like the Spring of 96'. Everyone always wearing flannel and talking about Pavement and Dinosaur Jr. like they were still relevant.I just thought how nice it would be to live in that world. 1996 was the year that I really got into music, such a turning point in my life. And now here I am re-living it listening to bands like Superchunk and Pavement wishing I was my age now in 1996 (how weird would that be?)

 What makes me think of this? maybe the fact that I live in my jean jacket, and recently have decided to dye my hair red. I think when I did the first time my best friend said "oh shit it's high school all over again" People are constantly trying to remove themselves from the person they were and I am constantly trying to communicate with who I was. I must be weird! I am also toying with the idea of dying my hair pink. Midlife crisis do I hear you calling?

In my purse...

I believe the contents of your purse describe you to a T, these are mine. I must always and I mean ALWAYS carry around a camera. You never know what you need to capture! You must always be ready and I am always ready with my  Diana F+ Parisian edition. I take the bus which affords me time to read. I recently purchased this book "The Best American Travel Writing 2010". I figured if I can't travel I might as well read about traveling. I am obsessed with make up that I never wear so I have an array of different plum colored lipstick from loreal to wet and wild brand. I also have an obsession with lip glosses. Tokidoki recently came out with a cosmetics brand and to be honest I purchased a lipgloss from their brand just for the packaging.

I think I have found it...

Today I came to this conclusion, an epiphany if you will. That may be a stretch but it was something that had been staring me in the face for awhile. Happiness is not something that we can achieve without putting some effort into it. I started re-evaluating my life, making a laundry list in my head of things I do and what I expect from them. So many times we go around asking so much out of our lives. Yet we do nothing to get those results. How many times have we said "Why can't I just win the lottery?" but how many times do you actually play the lottery? That was(is) my life! Need results but nothing in the equation. I started coming up with things that I could do to push me in that direction. First and foremost, the biggest part of my life is my job. I work a lot, I work when I am not "working". I come home and think about work, talk about work, etc. So Step # 1 Leave work at work This is easy for a lot of people but it is something I am really working on. It's hard for me to invest so much time in something and then just forget about it. I have been invested in my job for so long that I completely forgot how much free time I could have if I could just cut that out of my life.. Watch more movies, read more books, take more pictures. The list just got bigger and bigger. 

I took a nice break from the city I reside in and went home and spent time with family which was also big on the list. I try to go home as much as I can. I have sisters coming out of my ears, all lovely, funny, silly characters.  The middle one of the bunch had asked me a week earlier to go ice skating with her. Something that is completely out of the ordinary for us, and to be honest it was quirky enough to get my attention. It completely fell in place with my new plan on life. Do something fun that you wouldn't normally do ...Why not? 

Us being naive about the whole thing completely disregarded the fact that there are a large group of people who train to be professional ice skaters, and in fact they would probably be there that day. So there we were two girls in their mid twenties too scared to go on the ice because every one besides us was skating like it was the winter Olympics.

You know the feeling when you realize that you are about to embarrass yourself completely and it's do or die?. You hold your breathe and hope for the best! That was us! Scared shitless that these little teenage ice skaters would see us fall. To be honest it was a nice feeling to be scared again, mostly because with fear comes a need to be courageous.

Being back home was really just a nice feeling. So step # 2 was surround myself with family. I am lucky that a lot of my siblings are still young and adorable. Kids really do say the darnest things and it's great when they are clever too. The baby of the family is 10 going on 30 and could carry on a conversation with anyone. She has 6 different after school activities, which include honor roll and student council. When I was 10 I would rush home to watch TV and she gives up hours of her time to study. Kids these days I tell ya....

A polaroid a day....

Just like every girl out there I have major insecurities about my face,body, etc. These insecurities that stem from childhood seem to creep up at the worst of times. It also doesn't help that I live in Los Angeles, the capital of fake, blonde, and beautiful. Growing up my mother was not too friendly or discreet about my lacking physical attributes. In fact she would go as far as to point them out and talk about improving them some day. I grew up thinking I had a funny face, I probably do but I just remember thinking to myself   "Ok if I am not going to be pretty I better have a personality". So I started focusing on things I could control. I knew it was important to be friendly and welcoming, and I loved to be goofy and make people laugh. I became a better listener, a better friend because I knew that people wouldn't automatically be drawn to me. I now tend to see the beauty in everyone which is something I pride myself in. Yet regardless we still have THOSE days.

Lately I have been hearing soo many people talk about looks and how they correlate with relationships. I am an eternally single girl who people are trying to convince is single because of what I am lacking. One person told me to go to the gym because it would give me confidence, someone else told me to start wearing more makeup. There exact words were "If you like someone you have to try to look your best, you can't expect someone to like you at your worst" Which to me just didn't make any sense...
So there I was feeling drab and fat and all kinds of other negative terms. That's when I turned to the camera, I started shooting one polaroid a day just to see what I really looked like and this is what I got....

Besides me busting out the same pose..I just thought to myself maybe I don't see how people see me. The last one is me without make up and it could be my favorite. What I learned through this was that maybe I could identify the beauty in these pictures the way I would with other people. I now have started going to the gym and it has given me confidence! BUT it isn't for anyone else other than me. I also started wearing the makeup I had stored up but I wear it at home because it makes me feel pretty and I really don't think I care about how others see me in it. In every ones words I have found a new sense of self instead of trying to do things to attract others to me. Hope I can keep this up....