you were always the one...

It's been awhile since I've written in here ..maybe a life update is needed.

I'm thinking of giving up on digital , maybe selling my nikon d40 and saving up for a hasselblad?
I don't know if I could give up instant gratification though...
I've been working a lot lately and planning my trip to New York. There is a road trip to Buffalo in the works right now and hopefully everything will go off without a hitch.

San Francisco was awesome! It was the first time I had a real vacation in a really long time. I let Jenn lead me all around the city and it was just nice to take my shoes off and be "old Mel" for awhile as others call it. Sometimes I think I'm too reserved for my own good.

Strange days ahead...I'm having second thoughts about EVERYTHING! I am so happy to be going to New York at least for a week because I'm getting that itch again. New York in the summer is what I'm really looking forward to . In fact I haven't spent a summer in California in two years.

I have learned two important things in the last few weeks. The first being that I need to learn how to let go of things. I'm so into dramatics not necessary dramatic but if it could resemble a movie I guess I'm in. I should just be a screen writer..sigh. But now I know that I have to talk myself out of doing the most expected extravagant thing. Which means no running down the airport confessing eternal love and or no making scenes on street corners. These things are never good without pre-written dialogue.

Secondly, I learned that I'm subtly always trying to control everything. I always hated people who were so obviously trying to control every situation but I guess I just hated them because they took my control away . It's almost comical how I couldn't tap into this sooner but I'm working on it... I'll let ya know how it goes..

Now I must engage in retail therapy ......to try to forget things/people.
such a girl!