there are certain treasures people can only find in the city
.............

Yesterday i came across a small film store in brooklyn who refused to sell me expired film..this angered me more than anything because really there was nothing this woman could do with the film ..she said it herself she was probably going to hold on to it..even after i offered her twice the amount maybe even triple the cost of the film but yet she didn't want me to complain about the way the pictures turned out ...eventhough as i stated before i ASKED HER TO SELL IT TO ME.

this prompted me on this whole search for a camera store in nyc
little did i know that under my nose was the biggest and best as others are calling it
B & H
i went in there today and seriously it was intimidating ..all i wanted was film and they had soo much to choose from.
i really didnt know where to start but i ended up with two rolls of film ..one 120 .fuji and the other fuji superia x-tra 400
both color film for less than 5 dollars.. AMAZING
i spend 6 dollars on a bw roll of film at some place down 33rd the other day and was so tempted to go back and return it because it wasnt used...
besides the size of the store the people are really nice.
a sweet jewish boy attended me and kept asking me weird questions not pertaining to film
he also let me know that it would be nice if i came back for something other than film
yeah..dont think his mother would approve.



i then went on my search for a target
now even though it was 40 min out of my way it was well worth the trip,
and get this right above target was a chuck e cheese ...two of my favorite places in one location
i was walking towards the chuck e cheese door and this man who works for information comes up to me
and asks me if im lost..i tell him no and that i just want to go in and he opens the door for me
then the worker in the front when i walk in asks me "one? by yourself...are you sure?"
ha
i took some pictures in there and then i left
i pretty much scared everyone in there


anyways i found this funny

brooklyn nights and mornings

............
sometimes staying out all night is just what you need
the sun came up on mc carren park while we walked through
and i thought to myself
"at least i can't experience this anywhere else"

bars are the weirdest places to meet people
all these people drinking just to gather enough
courage to talk to someone outside their circle of friends
..some random irish guy came up to talk to me
it sort of made me feel better cuz i felt like i was not invisible.
we ended up in some random friends apartment
i had to mingle and it wasnt killing me and it felt nice to have
people laugh at my jokes ...i forgot that i could be funny
or witty..and that i could make people like me

its always a struggle to talk to strangers for me
i feel like im constantly trying to win people over
but this time i was myself and i forgot who that was for
a pretty long time..
i took the train home around 5am..
around 6 i ended up walking the streets of a desolate times square
its only at these times that i realize how lucky i am that i get to
see this place that is normally infested with tourist so empty....

day four ..month four? you decide

it's so easy to get lost in this city
figuratively and literally...
it's almost as if i never know when im coming and going
this place must of invented the phrase
i feel all alone in a crowded room
but it's an alone i guess we all know internally we are this place just
surfaces it and makes you face it and be okay with it.
.............

i find myself wanting to not do anything in a city so big it just seems that im surrendering to the idea of it mostly because there is too much to do...growing out of your shell..having life experiences..etc..etc.. all seem like things i need to take advantage of
no one looks up when they are walking here..so much as if they have too much to do ..or they look past you
i've never less special or uglier in my life now i know both these things sound horrible but really it's almost a relief
you know when people tell you there will always be someone prettier and smarter out there than you it's just life
those people who say that must of grown up in new york
everyone seems amazing
who knows if they are
maybe one day i'll get to come home with that same je ne sais quoi about me
who knows if i can master that or believe it
brooklyn is defitnetly my favorite as bad and pretentious people make this place out to be
its the only place i can see people being at their absolute core ...even if their core are a bunch of indie hipsters

i dont know it just seems like they can appreciate a good thrift store dress and nothing in my closet
is anything less..

i am wearing no makeup today i look like shit
yay

2. things...

first off
yesterday in new york city it was pretty hot all day
i mean i expect it to be hot i really do
BUT i also don't expect it to pour rain right after the heat
i guess im just not used to this ..
i spend 2 hours waiting under some fish building something or other
waiting for the rain to clear
on the brightside i found that walking in the rain and getting soaked
was a cure to my sadness..it's almost those moments when things are
unpredictable that i start feeling like things are going the way they
should.

on an entirely different note...
i have been observing new york city fashion like a hawk
and i have come to notice a trend that i defitnetly not see
coming back in la.
now i thought gladiator sandals were just in two seasons ago
but i guess they are coming back.
everywhere i turn i see a skinny pale waif girl wearing her gladiator
sandals and i must admit i dig it.
who knows maybe i'll invest in some before i go home

i seem to be looking out windows a lot here
...
and really the point of me writing this is so i can say to everyone
this man is beautiful






















photo taken byJon Graboff

my feet are going to kill me

i walked miles and miles it seemed
through little italy and china town all the way around
i thought that getting off at any stop on the subway
would be a good idea now im becoming more familiar
with things which is great ...
but you know what is definetly not great
my feet and the state they are in right now..
so i am publicly offering up this apology letter..


dear feet,

I'm sorry i took you for granted today ..i understand
that you often do all the work and i take the credit for it
but really it's not how it seems..Yes i know that i should
of listened to you about an hour and a half into the walk
and just gone home but i really was having too much fun..
next time i promise i'll take your feelings into consideration.
love you
more than you know,
mel
p.s. im sorry i made you run after we saw that guy who i "thought"
was ryan adams but really wasn't ..i know you werent feeling that

new york trip

i realized all these pictures are just portraits of people set in random places in long island, new jersey and new york..

sometimes i dont really know how i see people till i see them through my camera

this is why i don't watch tv....

so i turned on the mtv movie awards this weekend

and suprisingly enough it was not bad...

now don't get me wrong it was kind of lame..

but from what i expect from mtv it kind raised my expectations.

the only thing that bugged me thru out the show was that

after every hilarious thing Sarah Silverman said they would

cut to Samuel L. Jackson..

now i tried to reason this in my head a million times but there

would be ABSOLUTELY no reason to do this.

because

a) she wasn't making fun of him

b) he wasn't nominated for anything

and

c) he basically lost his badass motherfucker persona when the 830893839 million impression of snakes on a plane was done.



but still they kept showing his face..not laughing at anything...almost annoyed

that he had to sit through the show completely

this in turn annoyed me..

when did samuel l. jackson become the scale of the cool meter..

um right about now...

i wish i was more artistic..

sometimes i spend too much time online
looking up things i can't afford.
like this..


this painting is by michelle blade
and i want to buy it for shadi if it wasnt 600 dollars..
.......
i studied art all through high school
and for two years in college and i know
that i would never be able to make ANYTHING
remotely close to that..
here are some others that caught my eye..
and some links to check out...



by Camilla Engman


by evan fan


by s.britt

skin and bones....but still...

now i know that i jumped on late to the cory kennedy bandwagon,
but as for me and mary kate olsen we go way back!!!

it's from the time that full house ended and they did their
very short lived sitcom "Two of a Kind" (which had a guest appearance
from a then unknown emile hirsch looking hot for a 13 year old..don't
call the ped police on me thanks) to their other sitcom "So little Time"
(which both rhyme..and now im starting to wonder if it's a coincedence)
to all their stupid movies in between...
now i really don't understand why i found these darn twins so likeable
but now i do
look at this shit



mary kate is a style icon for sure if i could pull of a top hat you would
know that i'd be asking EVERYONE to call me willy wonka.
enjoy this picture it will probably be the only time you think a sack of bones is hot.

p.s. stolen from diegos myspace