A polaroid a day....

Just like every girl out there I have major insecurities about my face,body, etc. These insecurities that stem from childhood seem to creep up at the worst of times. It also doesn't help that I live in Los Angeles, the capital of fake, blonde, and beautiful. Growing up my mother was not too friendly or discreet about my lacking physical attributes. In fact she would go as far as to point them out and talk about improving them some day. I grew up thinking I had a funny face, I probably do but I just remember thinking to myself   "Ok if I am not going to be pretty I better have a personality". So I started focusing on things I could control. I knew it was important to be friendly and welcoming, and I loved to be goofy and make people laugh. I became a better listener, a better friend because I knew that people wouldn't automatically be drawn to me. I now tend to see the beauty in everyone which is something I pride myself in. Yet regardless we still have THOSE days.

Lately I have been hearing soo many people talk about looks and how they correlate with relationships. I am an eternally single girl who people are trying to convince is single because of what I am lacking. One person told me to go to the gym because it would give me confidence, someone else told me to start wearing more makeup. There exact words were "If you like someone you have to try to look your best, you can't expect someone to like you at your worst" Which to me just didn't make any sense...
So there I was feeling drab and fat and all kinds of other negative terms. That's when I turned to the camera, I started shooting one polaroid a day just to see what I really looked like and this is what I got....

Besides me busting out the same pose..I just thought to myself maybe I don't see how people see me. The last one is me without make up and it could be my favorite. What I learned through this was that maybe I could identify the beauty in these pictures the way I would with other people. I now have started going to the gym and it has given me confidence! BUT it isn't for anyone else other than me. I also started wearing the makeup I had stored up but I wear it at home because it makes me feel pretty and I really don't think I care about how others see me in it. In every ones words I have found a new sense of self instead of trying to do things to attract others to me. Hope I can keep this up....