BLAH BLAH BLAH

So I am currently in NYC and I should really be posting about all the fun I am having. (and I will, see next post) But what I really want to do is talk about something that I just want to shout out to the whole world.

I won't shout on this blog I will just explain, see this picture of me? <------ That one right there, well that is how I look. Almost like a lovable chipmunk. I rarely have a problem with how I look because hey guess what? This is just how it is unless I want to pay absurd amounts of money to change it.

When I was younger my mom would always make comments about things I could change when I was older. Bless her heart, she really just didn't know any better. She was raised in a time where beauty was your main asset. You lure a man with it, you marry, have kids and that's your life.

I will always remember the moment that I realized that I wasn't what people would consider conventionally pretty. I was 9 years old and my family had gone on a trip to Ensenada, Mexico. My mom was brushing my hair in front of this huge mirror and while she did I was dissecting my face, envisioning how it would age and somewhat cringing. I just remember thinking about my personality and what else I had that made people like me. I know it sounds like a sad story but in actuality it's something that I think back on often.

I believe that the idea of  beauty is circumstantial. It all heavily depends on the society you were born into.What someone considers beautiful in North America is probably not what someone would consider beautiful that grew up in China. Trying to change yourself for all these different standards of beauty would be too time consuming not to mention pointless. This morning I looked in the mirror and felt like shit. I thought to myself as I rode on the train, why can I not look like these beautiful beings around me? Obviously self pitting gets people nowhere. I have so many people in this world telling me that I can't do something or that I am not good enough, why am I adding on to it? As a society we are so judgmental, I keep joking with my friend Jen about how I want to wear a shirt that says "I have a great personality" BECAUSE I FUCKING DO.

I keep reading all these different blogs where girls talk about how they look in the mirror and feel disgusting. How they hate themselves, how they hate certain celebrities because they are beautiful,etc,etc. It tears me up inside, so much self hatred for no other reason than trying to fit into this very narrow standard of beauty.  So wake up ladies! There is too much to worry about in this world than to try to please other people. I know how it feels to just not like yourself some days but like I tell my sisters "I wake up everyday feeling like the most beautiful girl in the world, then I go outside and the world tells me no, I just have to remember to not listen to them"