late nights are not always restless..

I've been losing sleep lately , not really losing it I'm quite aware of where its going to
but sometimes its nice to misplace things to find later at a better time.
It's currently raining and probably the ugliest day I've seen since i arrived.
The death cab for cutie song "no sunshine" is running through my head and i really
am relieved i can spend my day off inside under the covers.
There are no stories to be told, besides tales of long walks and conversation.
There is no more exploring the city with every step it seems to call out "deja -vu".
Subways are becoming too familiar to me , the air that it pushes out towards you
when its running down the track is the coldest air i have ever felt.. this can also be
loneliness.

I spent Tuesday night walking around the lower east side with Lexy. A failed attempt to
go to a bar that i shouldn't of been at i took it as a sign and just decided to change plans into walking and talking in lonely parks. I don't believe any city has parks like new york city has parks. Last night was just as divine, i went out with Rusha and I didn't get home till 745 am. The plan was to go to a few bars and get some drinks which really was just a starter. We walked around and found a 24 hour dunking donuts. After we overstayed our welcome we realized it was 4 am and too late to go to another bar, so we did the most reasonable thing and went to another 24 hour eating spot. We came up with a brilliant plan to go to work even though we weren't even scheduled and silliness ensued from there.

I haven't made a new friend in awhile, it's so much fun to recount stories of your childhood and your life that let this other person get to know you a little better. It's almost like giving these people postcards or snapshots and explaining them in detail. It's hard to find anyone in this world to connect to and i guess I'm just lucky that I've always gravitated to "my people" .
I'm going home next week and nothing can be more exciting to me!
here are some pictures of the last few days....

it's been crazy..

these past few weeks have been kind of crazy...
i work a lot still but there was a certain someone in town that made my days a little better. Mr. Luis Mendoza, best friend extroardinare...was here working the bamboozle circuit. I tagged along one day and realized that i am wayyy too old to be going to summer festivals.
Highlight of the day : the movielife "reunion" it was pretty damn nostalgic to be able to hear those songs again and just to hear someone utter " your in my heart ...3000 miles away"...reminded me of home so much it hurt. saves the day was pretty fun too but at the end of the day i just needed to get the hell out of there.There was finally some bar hopping going on in the NYC ..hit up the crocodile lounge a few times and angels and kings (insert mocking here)
a lot of drunk photos on subways..and even more laughs..


picture time...

philadelphia

this was suppose to be where i got some cute thrift store clothes..
and after 7 hours all i ended up with is a 12 dollar dress...
i miss california and it's affordable thrift stores..
was a complete tourist and basically took in all the history..
including betsy ross' house and the liberty bell (that i did not lick btw)
.........................

home is where the heart is !
so true.

drinking is something i forgot how to do.
slowly straying away from routine...
my camera is keeping me company ..

trying at life.

sometimes we play dress up at work...

why is it that im invisible to most people?
im pretty loud, im outgoing, im silly and quirky and yet
i am constantly being overlooked, mainly by the male population.
i have now come to the conclusion that i am the girl you ask to dance
after everyone has already been partnered up , i am continuously second choice..
which is fucking lame...

how does one go about being first choice?
this is really mind boggling for me actually i just want someone to help me through the steps on how to be a well adjusted likeable human being that doesn't repell all males.

walking

..is making my feet ugly.

Not that they were pretty to begin with , but definitely with the amount of walking I've been doing they are getting considerably worse. This morning i couldn't even get up , my knees were squeaking like a rusty bike which now brings me to the point that I must be a grandma. Lexy and I decided to walk over the williamsburg bridge from her apartment to st. marks and even though that is a daily thing with her i am was suprisingly (sarcasm) not used to it. With all that walking and all the walking I do at work i think my feet need a rest.

I'm up and it's 4am here.. I'm never up this late but tomorrow i close and my roommate is not here tonight and when that happens i normally try to stay up till the sun comes up. I get really scared when im alone and i realize that im alone. I know it sounds stupid but it's almost like when you get your hand smashed by a door and you don't realize the pain till you look at it. Ok it's nothing like that but you get the gist. This way if I'm up i could just pretend that it's 4pm and I'm just going about my business, and not caught off guard incase something happens. I spend a good portion of the night watching almost famous on jeans computer. It was the extended version which is amazing because it ties in all the loose ends and i mean i ADORE this movie it reminds me a lot of When i was younger , eager and hopeful and just in love with music.I wanted to travel the country listening to my favorite band and experiencing the music i love with my friends .. and i guess i got to live that out in way. And no i was never a groupie (thank god) i always felt so connected to Penny Lane i don't know why maybe i wanted to be a groupie? hahaha NOOO but there is something about that character that just made me feel like i either wanted to be here or i was her. Damn you Cameron Crowe with Almost Famous and Elizabethtown you have my heart.

now unto pictures...