I want to lie and say I am done with romantic comedies but I can't. Mostly because these movies give me something that no one else seems to be able to give me, affirmation! Whether it's "Yes Melissa you will die alone" there is a movie for that! or "One day you will find the one" there are a million movies for that.Better yet the ones that talks to you about soul mates, those are the ones that get me.
"They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else."
Chuck Klosterman
I remember the first person who made me feel that way, in fact I remember the exact moment that I felt that intense connection. Cheesy? maybe, but it is the only reference I have built on in terms of having strong feelings for someone so it is hard to forget. I was always a weird girl, imagine growing up disconnected from what it is to be your age. I went to a Catholic School, I skipped two grades making me the youngest in the class. I for the most part watched mostly old movies (as in Audrey Hepburn and Shirley Temple), I read only Vogue and Elle magazine. I was definitely all over the place. I never knew or cared how I came off to people until I met him. And when I did it was like shattered glass, my whole world had been flipped upside down. I didn't know anything about him I just knew that I had never met anyone like him or felt like he made me feel. I was 15 and smitten, completely charmed by a boy's smile and wit. Until this day I have yet to meet a guy whose wit could rival his.Unknowingly the love of this boy's wit has carried over into other relationships. I know it when I see it and when I meet another guy who has the same sharp tone I fall hard.
It goes without saying that I worshiped this poor kid. Once I even went to a dance with a friend and watched him with his girlfriend for an hour. Could you imagine a creepy girl watching you from the sidelines, giving you the look only a 17 year old girl could do so well. I crushed on this guy longer than I'd like to admit and eventually the feeling I had turned into friendship and it was easier to segue into the other 2 boys that gave me the same feeling. Even though I am still skeptical that these feelings can ever really go away. There has to be a part of you that you numb, once you realize that these people aren't "the one".
Then there are the anti-romantic comedies, the ones that don't give you the happy ending, the ones who are holding a less cloudy mirror to society.When I think about relationships I don't think of sex or having someone pay for dinner. I think of connection, of having that person who you can engage in 4 hours of conversation with but also in moments of complete silence feel oddly comfortable..
Has society lost it's way on how to connect? We now rather text than call, email than write, have sex on a first date rather than talk. Is this where we are heading? A society that just won't let anyone get to know them? I always thought that there was this innate need for connection in all human beings but maybe it's now surrendering to the fear of being alone.
The main thing that all these romantic comedies have pushed on me in one way or another is that there are happy endings, even if they are not what we want them to be. This is a lesson that I for one will probably never learn....Bring on the cats!
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